Tuesday, March 29, 2005

C o s L o v e s S i n e

Yes, guys and girls are equal. Really.. "Real"ly :-) All that are there are "phase" differences. Enjoy the story !

A T r a n s c e n d e n t a l L o v e S t o r y

Once there was a girl. So pretty and fine. Her name was Sine.
Smitten was a guy. For words at a loss. His name was Cos.

Cos came upto Sine and said, "Hey baby ! You make me think this world is one big mug of chocolate milkshake. Why don't we hang out and ummm.. you know, have one big mug of chocolate milkshake?"

Sine said, "Sure Cos, I like chocolate milkshake. But I don't think you should have it with me. Because.. you know, you don't look like a milkshake-mate to me"

Cos said, "This doesn't make sense. Anyone can be milkshake-mates with anyone else. Or cappuchino-mates. Or creme-brulee-mates. Or gingery-garlicky-chinese-soup-mates. I'll prove it to you. Come and drink this chocolate milkshake with me. You will be okay !"

Sine said, "Cos, you don't understand. Probably you are a dumbhead, or you are trying to be extremely smart with me. Don't you see ? We don't come to period at the same time."

Cos said, "Oh poor girl ! You are pretty dumb too. Boys don't get periods. Only girls do"

Sine said, "You are being very rude to me. But, give me that mug of milkshake." At this behest, Cos beams a wide smile and hands it over. But Sine shakes it vigorously and spills it all into the gutter.

Cos said, "You are dumber than what I thought. You not only poured your share of the milkshake into the gutter, but you emptied mine also ! Are you a moron or what ?"

Sine said, "Run away from here Cos, or I will kick your ass !! "

Cos cried a lot for the milkshake that was lost. And then, he ran away from there.

Then Cos thought a lot about periods and why boys might get periods. Finally he said, "Hey Sine, what you mean is the maximum. It's not periods silly, it is the maximum and minimum. Sure we don't get maxima at the same time now. But does it matter ?"

Sine said, "Yeah it does. Why don't you get frozen in time for some time. Try a little harder. You can get periods at the same time with me."

Cos said, "I won't get no periods. And getting frozen in time is a darn stupid thing. Moreover, how do I know when my maximum will exactly match with yours. Let's do one thing. If we have this hot bowl of cappuchino and drink it real fast, both our frequencies will increase rapidly, and soon it will be difficult to say which is Cos and which is Sine"

At this, Sine became extremely red in the face and emptied the hot bowl of Cappuchino into the gutter. And later, she also threw the big cup of creme-brulee into the gutter.

Still, Cos didn't lose the nerve. He got a big bowl of gingery-garlicky-chinese-soup and said, "Hey Sine. I bet you'll like this one." But Sine sprayed all of it onto the face of Cos and then dipped his face into the gutter.

Cos cried a lot for the ginger, for the garlic and for the soup. Then he also cried for his face, which has become really dirty by now. And then, he ran away from there.

Then another Sine came. The first Sine said, "Hey you come to period at the same time with me. Come let's hang out and do some Sine-y things together."

"Yikes ! That looks too gay !!", said Cos.
"We don't care ! It's okay !!", said they.

And they happily lived ever after :-)


Kiran said...

A few clarifications about this post.
A b s o l u t e T r i g o n o m e t r i c A b s o l u t e S h i t

1) Would I write more stories about sec, cosec etc.. eh ?
Sorry. They would be too erotic. (tan = sine on top of cos) : D

2) god = cos with a period of infinity. An imaginary entity which has no fluctuations of mind, and one which is omnipotent. (that is god = 1 for time t = 0 to infinity)

3) Joseph Fourier was a secret follower of the Saamkhya system of philosophy. Thats why he said any function can be realized with a mixture of cos and sines.

Still not satisfied with giving interpretations to my story ? Phoeey to you !! Just forget the philosophical shit and enjoy the story at the funnybone level :-p

Mischord said...

ROFL! Leave all phil aside. This is one of the best drunken piece of work I've ever read. Cool!!!!!!!

Kiran said...

I wasnt drunk. I am a natural (:

sriram said...

It was fun reading this stuff. I was trying to figure
out the theme of this blog and I kept oscillating between
a hundred themes.
1. Is it a love story ?
2. Is is about milkshakes and the agony of cos losing them to the gutter ?
3. Is is about the ambiguity of the word 'period' ?
4. Is is about 'Nakhres' of Sine.
5. Is is an abstract message given through simple words ?
6. Is it a lesson in mathematics ?
7. Is is a real story which has been dramatized to an infinite extent.
100. ....

Kiran said...

the theme of the blog is about poking fun on the differences between
boys and girls. :) The ultimate twist, ofcourse, is that the girl is a
lesbian !

thanks mama. read my blog once a while for other dopey stuff :)