Thursday, June 09, 2005

N o r m a l l y N o r m a l F r i e n d s

All my friends are normally normal. By that, it also means they are abnormally abnormal. What I want to say is.. the abnormalities of my friends are manifest only through mishaps which mishappen according to a Gaussian probability distribution.

So coming to my normally normal friends, there is this guy who is normally normally dressed. A pair of pants and a shirt, he keeps on. But on that occassionally abnormal day, you would find him prowling about without the formers. For he had uttered a funny joke that day. And whenever he utters a funny joke, a mysterious neon halo appears above his head "Pull my pants down please". And it is hard not to oblige neon halos, you know.

Then there is this other guy who is normally normally featured. That is to say, you would not mistake him for a duck-billed platypus or a thornbill's bronze tail, for that matter, on a normally normal day. But on the occasional rainy day, you would find him adorned with two umbrellas. For he carries a second one to cover his head. The first umbrella, you know, automatically pops off his ass as soon as the first signs of moisture become evident in the atmosphere. Now, isn't that what you would call a smart ass ?

Then there is this other fellow who keeps his pace normally normal. That is to say you would not find him breaking olympic records in 100m sprint, on a normally normal day. But on the occassionally abnormal day, he would suddenly start to think. It is as if his brain suddenly wakes up from a deep slumber. And then he would start running. Many of us suspect there is a hidden coupling in his brain between the think-nerve and the run-nerve. And it is as if they go hand-in-hand (or nerve-in-nerve). Many an olympic record were broken on the day he was asked to choose between butter-pecan and honey-almond.

These abnormaities which occur at abnormal times make my friends interesting. Kinda like supermen, you know.

Of all the people, however, I would pick one friend of mine for being the excessively normally normal. That is to say, never was an abnormality sighted in his entire disposure or composure. Except for that day when he died. It was on that day that I discovered that he had an abnormality too.

Now if I have to explain the details of this particular death, I would have to first tell you that he had an acquarium for his head. A glass chamber and water and a couple of fish which swimmed around. Nothing abnormal about his head, right ? He used to have a hard time concealing his mind, if that is what you call it. That is, you would find the water turned all green when he was jealous. And the water turned all yellow when he was in that I-badly-need-a-coffee moods. And the water turned all blue when he was feeling particulary depressed about a girl. And when the fish were fighting and biting into each other, then you would know he was particularly in a dilemma.

On that particular day when he died, however, I found him really angry. I asked him "Wassup friend ?" And he said "!@#$!@%$#%$%#%"

Then I saw that the water in his acquarium-head was bubbling out. "Fizzzzz" it sounded. And suddenly, the glass chamber exploded with the pressure of this steam. The fish were semi-cooked by the time of the explosion, but they still danced wildly in the open and then they died too ! It was then that I uttered my famous words-of-wisdom.

"Do not become angry if you have an acquarium for your head"

10 comments:

Pavan said...

pretty cool as everything else -- fun to read. i was trying hard and breaking my head(if any) to figure out who is who in this story if you actually meant some 'who' of who all I and u know together, in the narration!

(well..this is manask! i forgot my password)

pavan said...

dude..check out www.attrition.org/fuck/ .. awesome stuff for people like u :)

pavan said...

and may be this one too !!

http://www.a1b2c3.com/suilodge/metfor1.htm

OSK said...

Neither can I figure out who those are about but it does seem to be inspired by Roald Dahl or Edward Lear. Definitely makes amusing reading.

Kiran said...

thanks guys :) for the comments. I wikipedia'd edward lear now, osk. Sad never heard of him before. Have got to read him up now. You found it rite, I was just nonsense'ing. In reality, I dont have friends who keep umbrellas sticking out of their asses and acquariums for their heads. Those two sites scucked manask. Pch.. didnt find much of creative stuff over there.

Mischord said...

I'm glad the umbrella thing is not inspired by a living person. Although I should say, the runner reminded me a lot of Sashi :-)

Maaaaan! What thou mood is it, that left u not uninspired to pen such thoughts for characters mightly benign and undeceptively smothered???!

Kiran said...

It was a pretty sunny day and me chilling off with a sprite. Then the amusing thought of an acquarium sitting above the face of a person striketh me :D

Santhosh said...

I gave up trying to match these described bakras in there .. :)
But, hell, this is a normally abnormal blog.

Superman said...

Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude Sexy post except for the ass smile guy.

Kiran said...

ho ho :D I removed the ass-smile episode duude. Actually, I put it in the post by a reflex action. Tooo many fart jokes we talk around here :D Guess I am getting kinda adicted to fart jokes. should stop !! :))